Friend requests and other dilemmas

Unlike a great deal of people, I use Facebook to keep in touch with the people I DO KNOW. Allow me to elaborate: my College experience was filled with exchange students, people from Sweden, Germany, Mexico, USA, South Korea, Italy, France and more. I thought Email was a terrific way to keep in touch. Turns out, it wasn’t. They all have Facebook and apparently that’s how cool people connect. They insisted so I decided to make myself a Facebook account. Later on my family joined in and so did other friends. Going back to my original point, I use it to stay updated with my friends and family, that live all across the globe. 

So, when I get friend requests from these scenarios:
– Friend of a friend that thinks because we have a friend in common we should also be friends;
– Friends of friends that I met at a gathering, probably exchanged two words (Hello, Goodbye);
– Or this: I’m out having coffee with a friend when one of his friends apparently decided to have coffee at the same Café (I exchanged ZERO words with the person, just a half-friendly smile ‘hey’), somehow we ended up taking a “group selfie” (yes, because that’s just what people do on a regular basis -???-) and then the “stranger” uploads the picture to Facebook and demands that I accept the friend request otherwise he can’t tag me on the photo. WHAT. 
Let me be clear about a few things…just because we spent a few hours together in an event that required both of us to be there (birthday party, for example) it does not mean we are FRIENDS. It does not mean I wish to be tagged in any photos. It does not mean “we should go out sometime” and it definitely does NOT mean I want to “come over and hang out”. 
Now, work parties and work colleagues are in a special category. It self states “work colleague” — not friend. These people aren’t your friends. If they have the opportunity to s#### you, they will. It is a goddamn jungle out there. I often get the infamous questions: “do you have Facebook?” or “do you have WhatsApp?” or “do you have (whatever other social network)?”. Probably, yes. Do I want to add you? Definitely no. Why? Because I don’t want to. (this is the time when most people label you as “uncool”/”antisocial” or just plain asshole). 
I have the right to choose whether to add you or not. I’m not obliged to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with. I don’t know you. Friend is a very strong word to me. It is not something to be collected as numbers. I don’t understand when people say “friend, good friend, best friend”. The person is either your friend or not. A friend to me is someone who is there when I’m at the hospital, at a concert, giving birth, supporting me or critiquing me when necessary, a friend is someone who maybe isn’t there physically, but I know in my heart that she/he is here. To be A FRIEND is the ultimate thing after family. I simply can’t categorize that. I can categorize, however, Family, Friends, Colleagues, Acquaintances (or “awkwaintances” – see: The Great Perils of Social Interaction (amazing piece, incredibly written and so damn true!)) and Random Strange People I don’t know nor want them to touch me. 
Recently I had a friend come to me and say “Hey, Sarah (random name – my friend’s friend) told me that she sent you a friend request and you didn’t accept it”. My face when. It felt a bit like I was in elementary school and did something bad and some idiot ratted me out to the teacher with a mix of  WHAT. THE. HELL.
Anyone else in a similar situation? Any thoughts? Remarks? Complaints? (you’ll have to go to a different Department for that)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s